Mentorship is often touted as a key to achieving professional success in the engineering field. For this reason, I set out to find a mentor early in my career. I joined a mentorship program through the American Society of Civil Engineers (ASCE). While my assigned mentor was a great person and accomplished engineer, I found the experience to be somewhat disappointing because we just didn’t connect in the way I expect. As you can imagine, this was discouraging because I had been told that a good mentor was the key to having a successful career as an engineer. However, as I have progressed in my career as a civil engineer, I have found that mentorship is not the end all be all of success. While mentorship can be a valuable tool for personal and professional development, I would argue that the importance of finding a mentor is overrated. In many instances, engineers would be better off spending their time pursuing other avenues of personal and professional development. The following blog post will explore the potential downsides of putting mentorship on a pedestal.
It is worth noting that this blog post is not a statement of whether mentorship is valuable. I understand and recognize that many people have had mentors that change their lives. However, many people will not find this kind of relationship in their life. That does not mean that they will not find success in their personal or professional lives, and this post is meant to serve as an encouragement to those who are frustrated by their lack of mentorship.
What is a mentor?
Before I discuss why I believe mentorship is often overrated, I will define the term mentor. A mentor is someone who shares their knowledge, skills, and experience to help their mentee to develop and grow. Mentorship is typically associated with a long-term relationship. A mentor and mentee also tend to have a more pragmatic relationship than friends. Rather than serving as an emotional support system like a friend, a mentor is more likely to provide resources and strategies to address a challenge.
In the following sections, I will discuss why mentorship is not always necessary for success.
Consider the suitability of a potential mentor
Mentorship, like all relationships, takes time to develop. For this reason, it is important to consider whether a potential mentor can actually help you achieve your goals so you do not waste your time (or theirs). A potential mentor should have the qualifications, experience, and personality to provide you with helpful guidance. It is also important that your mentor understand the goals you want to accomplish in the short-term and long-term. For example, if finding a work-from-home position is a short-term goal that is very important to you, someone who finds this work arrangement “lazy” would probably not be a good fit as a mentor.
A mentor should also challenge you and help you move outside of your comfort zone. It is relatively easy to find people who will encourage you and cheer for you during hard times. However, it can be more difficult to find someone who will be honest with you and will be willing to have tough conversations/tell you something you do not want to hear.
Overreliance on mentors
Although mentors have been valuable for many people, they cannot live your life for you. It is important to avoid becoming too reliant on mentors to make decisions. Instead, it is important to consider the advice of others while also learning how to think for yourself. After all, you are the one who will ultimately need to live with the consequences of your own decisions!
In addition, mentorship should NOT be a substitute for other forms of personal and professional development. This is because nobody knows everything. For this reason, it is important to read books, attend conferences, develop technical skills, and engage in other self-study activities. Developing daily habits that help you become a better engineer is more important than finding a mentor.
Unable to find a mentor
Some people would make fantastic mentors, but they simply do not have the time to commit to mentoring someone due to work and family obligations. Early in your career, you often hear that having a mentor is paramount. Messaging related to this topic can make it seem like there is something wrong with you if you cannot find a mentor to provide you guidance in your career. However, it is not realistic to expect that every junior engineer will find someone who is willing to advise them through the early years. Because life can get so busy (especially for middle-aged people with families), it is often challenging to find a suitable mentor who can meet with you regularly.
Although it can be difficult for people to commit to long-term mentoring due to the busyness of life, many people will be willing to give their input on a particular decision. It can be easy to think that only people with mentors have access to help with making important decisions. This is simply not the case.
Mentorship Programs
If you really want to find a mentor, see if your workplace has a mentorship program. It is important to manage your expectations when signing up for these programs. While mentoring programs work for some people, most long-lasting mentoring relationships develop organically. My experience with the ASCE mentorship program was great because I had the opportunity to meet others in my profession, but I did not find a long-term mentor. I was “assigned” a mentor, and our communication diminished rapidly after the mentorship program ended. This is because, in my opinion, the relationship was artificial and forced. Although we got along well and had some similar professional interests, I don’t think we ever felt comfortable enough with each other to discuss goals, dreams, work challenges, etc. I am certainly not alone in this experience. Harvard Business Review conducted a study of 3,000 professionals and found that most formal mentoring relationships do not continue after the conclusion of a mentorship program. Does this mean mentorship programs are a waste of time? No, mentorship programs can be great opportunities to meet new people and network, which is great for your career.
Learning and growing through other ways
Although mentorship is often touted as one of the most important pathways to success, I have found that people who have dedicated themselves to self-study are some of the most successful. I think this because studying on your own helps you develop your own philosophies about life. It also keeps your mind sharp as you get older and allows you to continue to learn new skills quickly long after graduating college. In addition, learning new things often leads to developing new interests. This, in turn, allows you to connect and relate with more people.
Reading, listening to podcasts, networking, and writing will help you develop a habit of learning new things in order to grow professionally and personally.
Reading and Podcasts – Reading books and listening podcasts allow you to hear what some of the smartest people have to say. Although books and podcasts will not talk back to you, they are important resources for learning new skills. They can also facilitate self-reflection.
Networking – Networking with other professionals is another way to learn and grow. You can still learn a lot from these connections even if they are not mentors.
Writing – Personally, I think every engineer should have a blog. Writing helps you improve your communication skills, encourages you to be more observant, and facilitates reflection. Once you get good at it, writing can also be fun.
Final Thoughts
While mentorship can be incredibly value, it is not the only way to achieve personal and professional development. For this reason, it is worth considering whether searching for a mentor is the best use of your time in your endeavors to improve yourself. It is also essential to remember that a mentor serves as a guide. It is up to you to take action and make decisions that are best for you (and your family).
It is important to keep in mind that the the purpose of this blog post is to present an alternative perspective on mentorship. It is not a statement or argument about whether mentorship is valuable. Rather, it is a discussion of how there are other paths to success. It is important that engineers work best for you, whether that includes mentorship or not.